Q&A with Elsa Touche
I published a large feature profile recently on Charles Purdy and his drag persona, Elsa Touche. It was a rare moment where I couldn’t fit the entire interview into the story. Here is more of it, with some touching moments I wish made it in the profile.
Where are you from?
I was born in San Jose. I moved around a lot growing up for my dad’s job because my parents split up, and my mom remarried a couple of times. Reno, Nevada, and a small town in Minnesota (Stillwater)— those are the two I tend to say I’m from.
Why did you move to San Francisco?
Ever since I was a little kid, it was my plan to move to SF. I had a very special aunt who lived here, and visiting the city was special to me. I knew from a very young age I was gay. I met real-life gay people when I was a young child, so I knew from a young age that this is where I belong.
What was your childhood like? And as a young adult?
My high school years were quite rough, I barely graduated. I was very bullied; Quite tortured. I kind of stopped going to school. My grades were not great. First few years of my life after that, I kind of had PTSD. I was kind of catching my breath. Coming to terms with what had happened to me. All of the things I should have been doing in my teenage years, I did in my 20’s. Went to City College and tried to get my grades up so I could go to SFSU and take classes.
The next few years were about having fun, about being gay, and that it was okay. And then at about my late 20’s, I thought, “Oh, I have to work.” I went to SF State but didn’t finish.
What do you do now?
I write marketing content.
I had a job as a copy editor at a technology publishing magazine, and I’ve been working ever since in publishing and content marketing. At SF State, I got into a creative writing program until I realized I don’t really want to be a writer, I just wanted attention.
Did you want to do something else?
I was very interested in acting, and I did theater in high school. But I did kind of get turned off to it because of some bad advice, basically meeting the wrong directors. It sounds so silly because you know theater is a queer milieu. A director in theater told me that the audience can tell when an actor is gay, and it ruins it for the audience. Like when you’re Tony in “West Side Story,” and you’re gay, and the audience knows.
His advice was, “You’re pretty gay and not a good enough actor to hide it, so find something else honey.” That’s so stupid, and it’s one person’s opinion. But it played into the belief I already had about myself that being gay was worthless. But I was young and impressionable, and people’s opinions about me mattered a lot.
I gave up on the acting sort of thing. The only other thing I was good at school was English and writing, and I was a big reader. I thought, “Okay, words.”
And how did writing go for you?
I tried, I published some short stories. I really didn’t reach the point… I didn’t enjoy the process of writing. I enjoyed the process of having written something. If you don’t have this pressing desire to say something, then why create it?
But you did write for awhile.
I was a columnist for SF Weekly, and I even had a book published. The column was called “Social Grace,” and it was made into a book that I toured with. I was on TV as a manners expert.
It was a crazy detour in my life, and it was a success until it wasn’t. The first printing printing of the book sold out, and the second one didn’t do so hot. It was about the way we behave and what we do in our relationships— a manners book, speaking to modern urbanites. I got to do national TV with it. I was asked to audition for “Queer Eye for the Straight Girl.” They called me back 3 or 4 times; I didn’t get it. But I think my headshot was on their wall until the very end.
That sounds amazing! Why did you stop?
In the last year of “Social Grace,” I was spending more than I was making. I was an etiquette expert on this weird Oxygen channel reality show, and they paid me a per diem, but I was flying myself to LA for these things. It never hit the big time, and meanwhile, I’m still working a 9-5 job. I didn’t think I was going to hit the big time between that and my $70 weekly etiquette column. I gave it up, but it was really fun while I did it.
How did you get into drag?
I have always been a big, big, big drag fan. I would kind of get in my shitty Halloween drag and go to “Trannyshack.” But I wasn’t cool or interesting enough— I talked myself out of being more involved in drag at that time.
Several years ago, I started dating someone who was a drag queen in SF. And early on in our relationship, I said I always wanted to do drag. He said to me, “It’s so easy. And if you suck, you won’t work anymore. But it’s pretty easy to get a shot.” Which is something wonderful about SF. It’s pretty easy to find a stage if you have potential. In other cities, it’s hard to break in, they guard their stages very closely.
I started at “The Monster Show” in 2015. My ex—Dusty Pörn—we dated, and he is one of my best friends and drag mother. “The Monster Show” was my first performance and my first time I got paid to be in drag. I got a tip handed to me.
This is an excerpt from a 2,500-word phone interview with Charles Purdy AKA Elsa Touche. Patreon subscribers can read the rest here.
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