All Access: Q&A with Elsa Touche
I published a large feature profile recently on Charles Purdy and his drag persona, Elsa Touche. It was a rare moment where I couldn’t fit the entire interview into the story. Here is the full version, with some touching moments I wish made it in the profile.
Patreon-exclusive portion of interview unlocked below.
Where are you from?
I was born in San Jose. I moved around a lot growing up for my dad’s job because my parents split up, and my mom remarried a couple of times. Reno, Nevada, and a small town in Minnesota (Stillwater)— those are the two I tend to say I’m from.
Why did you move to San Francisco?
Ever since I was a little kid, it was my plan to move to SF. I had a very special aunt who lived here, and visiting the city was special to me. I knew from a very young age I was gay. I met real-life gay people when I was a young child, so I knew from a young age that this is where I belong.
What was your childhood like? And as a young adult?
My high school years were quite rough, I barely graduated. I was very bullied; Quite tortured. I kind of stopped going to school. My grades were not great. First few years of my life after that, I kind of had PTSD. I was kind of catching my breath. Coming to terms with what had happened to me. All of the things I should have been doing in my teenage years, I did in my 20’s. Went to City College and tried to get my grades up so I could go to SFSU and take classes.
The next few years were about having fun, about being gay, and that it was okay. And then at about my late 20’s, I thought, “Oh, I have to work.” I went to SF State but didn’t finish.
What do you do now?
I write marketing content.
I had a job as a copy editor at a technology publishing magazine, and I’ve been working ever since in publishing and content marketing. At SF State, I got into a creative writing program until I realized I don’t really want to be a writer, I just wanted attention.
Did you want to do something else?
I was very interested in acting, and I did theater in high school. But I did kind of get turned off to it because of some bad advice, basically meeting the wrong directors. It sounds so silly because you know theater is a queer milieu. A director in theater told me that the audience can tell when an actor is gay, and it ruins it for the audience. Like when you’re Tony in “West Side Story,” and you’re gay, and the audience knows.
His advice was, “You’re pretty gay and not a good enough actor to hide it, so find something else honey.” That’s so stupid, and it’s one person’s opinion. But it played into the belief I already had about myself that being gay was worthless. But I was young and impressionable, and people’s opinions about me mattered a lot.
I gave up on the acting sort of thing. The only other thing I was good at school was English and writing, and I was a big reader. I thought, “Okay, words.”
And how did writing go for you?
I tried, I published some short stories. I really didn’t reach the point… I didn’t enjoy the process of writing. I enjoyed the process of having written something. If you don’t have this pressing desire to say something, then why create it?
But you did write for awhile.
I was a columnist for SF Weekly, and I even had a book published. The column was called “Social Grace,” and it was made into a book that I toured with. I was on TV as a manners expert.
It was a crazy detour in my life, and it was a success until it wasn’t. The first printing printing of the book sold out, and the second one didn’t do so hot. It was about the way we behave and what we do in our relationships— a manners book, speaking to modern urbanites. I got to do national TV with it. I was asked to audition for “Queer Eye for the Straight Girl.” They called me back 3 or 4 times; I didn’t get it. But I think my headshot was on their wall until the very end.
That sounds amazing! Why did you stop?
In the last year of “Social Grace,” I was spending more than I was making. I was an etiquette expert on this weird Oxygen channel reality show, and they paid me a per diem, but I was flying myself to LA for these things. It never hit the big time, and meanwhile, I’m still working a 9-5 job. I didn’t think I was going to hit the big time between that and my $70 weekly etiquette column. I gave it up, but it was really fun while I did it.
How did you get into drag?
I have always been a big, big, big drag fan. I would kind of get in my shitty Halloween drag and go to “Trannyshack.” But I wasn’t cool or interesting enough— I talked myself out of being more involved in drag at that time.
Several years ago, I started dating someone who was a drag queen in SF. And early on in our relationship, I said I always wanted to do drag. He said to me, “It’s so easy. And if you suck, you won’t work anymore. But it’s pretty easy to get a shot.” Which is something wonderful about SF. It’s pretty easy to find a stage if you have potential. In other cities, it’s hard to break in, they guard their stages very closely.
I started at “The Monster Show” in 2015. My ex—Dusty Pörn—we dated, and he is one of my best friends and drag mother. “The Monster Show” was my first performance and my first time I got paid to be in drag. I got a tip handed to me.
Patreon-exclusive interview continues here.
Tell me more about the first show.
It was a French theme, and I’m a big Francophile. I was going to do a French song, and a duet with Dusty. It felt very liberating, and I was super, super happy to be there. I felt really beautiful and part of something special. Once I got into drag and onstage, I fell in love with it and definitely got the bug.
What about drag do you love?
As a creative person, I love that it finds so many different ways of being creative. There’s the performance, the production, the direction, and figuring out a number. I like to sew, so there’s a crafty part of it, making costumes, and making props.
I also enjoy hanging out in bars— I think gay bars are sacred and special. Being in drag is a good reason to hang out in a gay bar. Being hanging out in a gay bar in a wig makes me feel like I’m part of something important, an important history. I love queer nightlife a lot, I love being part of it, and I feel like if I weren’t doing drag, I would be fading out of it. I would feel the lack. My good friends who are my age don’t go out anymore. Doing this keeps me going out— Drag is really keeping me young. And I have young friends through drag, too. I feel really lucky that coming into drag has opened up a new circle of friends to me.
Why so much of a French influence in your character?
I dated a French guy for awhile, and I traveled to France for a bit. I studied French, I speak French well… What’s there to say, I love France, I love French things. When I initially conceived of Elsa’s character, she was more French. My initial perception of what Elsa would be as a person was wrong.
Why was it wrong?
I imagined a drag persona I would create. But my drag persona wasn’t something I created, it was something that was there. I thought I was going to construct a persona—I tried—but the real Elsa was already there: She appeared all the while.
What’s Elsa all about?
Elsa is definitely lives a life in her mind. I sort of think of her as a 50’s or 60’s TV star who has been through some ups and downs in her career, but now she has an attitude about whatever shitty show she’s in. “I was on the cover of American Magazine, now here I am in this fucking dive bar.” She’s past her time, but she’s still happy to be there. She’s almost matronly, and she hasn’t updated her hair in 40 years. Elsa is actively single and bisexual, so she likes to flirt with everyone. I’m a vegan, Elsa is a vegan too and she sometimes talks about it.
It’s been very integrating to have that feminine part of me come out, and to make people like it. Even though I had done a lot of self work and recovered from being bullied over being a high school sissy, there was still a lot of self-dislike I carried of my “feminine aspects.” I was living among gay men, and gay men notoriously punish feminine aspects. There was a lot of shame around my feminine parts.
That’s another part of drag that’s super, super awesome and valuable to me: As someone who is queer and very femme, it’s been validating to have my femme-ness officiated.
What’s your style of performance?
I definitely think of myself as more of a comedic or theatrical queen. I’m very good at lip syncing, that’s why I do a lot of spoken-word pieces. I’m not a great dancer. I’m too old to do a dead drop. At one point, I could do the splits, someone my age should not do the splits. A lot of my work has been theatrical and drag stage productions. Right before the world ended, we did “Harry Poofter and the Sorcerer’s Stone,” and “Drunk Drag Broadway” shows, I love that. I can dance just fine. Dead drops, no. I’m too old.
I caught a bit of a show you did where you were doing a spoken-word number, I thought maybe it was Olivia Newton-John.
That was a Sandra Bernhard one-woman show and movie called “Without You, I’m Nothing.” Two years ago, I did a drag tribute to Sandra Bernhard— I idolize her. Basically, she does all these different characters as herself. I did a drag version of that one-woman show, with each costume coming out and doing a different segment from that movie.
Local drag queens have seen me do different bits from that movie, if you ask who is the Sandra Bernhard queen in town, they’d say it’s me.
Who are your other inspirations?
While she isn’t an inspiration, I worship Euphoria’s drag— it’s so different. I’m a huge, huge fan of Coco Peru, and a huge fan of Tammy Brown, too. Varla Jean Merman I still love even though I think her real-life persona is problematic now. Nina West is a more modern one that I super love. I really love a broad variety of drag.
Are you seeking bigger fame? Have you thought about doing “RuPaul’s Drag Race”?
With “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” I wouldn’t want the prize. I do not want that life, the two year contract.
Where do you want your drag career to go?
Being a local drag queen is definitely all I want. I would love to do more drag theater— I’m hoping we’ll be able to do other drag parody musicals. It’s fun to be a talking head on TV it’s fun to do drag. I would love to be able to make a living doing a drag.
Are you part of a drag house?
I have a drag family that’s connected to a house, but I am not part of one.
There are so many benefits to being from a house, there’s a couple of really great houses in San Francisco. Dusty’s drag mother is Euphoria, I think of Euphoria as my drag grandmother, but I’m not part of the House of Glitter. San Francisco is more of a Wild West of a city when it comes to drag, it has its pluses and minuses. In other towns, there’s one house, and they control everything. If you’re not part of it, you’re not getting booked. The houses in SF, there’s not a bad house here. And I’m not just saying that.
What about doing pageants?
I’ve been in pageants, but not the way that most drag queens do them. I won the “California Gold” in 2019, that’s a Ducal pageant. Participated in the Monster pageant and was a first runner up, and they elevated me to Ms. Monster for a minute. I did “Star Search”—everyone in SF does “Star Search”—but did not place. After I won “California Gold,” I said, “That’s it, I’m going to stop doing pageants because now. I have a crown, and I’m good.”
How has drag changed for you in the pandemic?
It’s been really challenging. A lot of the things I enjoy about drag involve being with people, queer spaces, and hanging out at bars. That element is missing. It’s very hard to perform to your iPhone camera. My phone does not give me life. It’s interesting in a way to make the drag videos, but it takes so much longer to create a work of drag now.
Outside of a pandemic: you practice, you learn, you go to the bar, and then you’re done, and you have your drink and it’s a fun night. In the pandemic, however: you practice, learn, and then you record your number. For me, I’ll do many, many takes because video gives you do-overs, and I take advantage of them. Drag just takes a lot longer now. A lot of that time isn’t necessarily fun for me. It’s several hours the course of the week learning your numbers, then you spend several more hours filming it, several more hours editing it, and then the joy of it has been tapped out because of that.
That’s just me, some people love it. I’m interested to see what happens when the pandemic ends, what happens with this new art form they’ve created. It’s kind of like cable access music videos. It’s weird and wonderful. I definitely think when this is all over and we are back in bars, people will be so much more creative with projections and interesting things on stages thanks for what we learned during the pandemic.
This interview has been edited and condensed.
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